You are Deeply Enjoyed.

I am just going to be completely honest. I feel like I am not supposed to talk about the deep hurt that I have recently been walking through or the years of emotional abuse in church that led up to it, but I know God cannot be glorified in me feeling shamed for the actions of others. I have to let them own those and I have to take ownership of the healing and ministry that comes from it. When God gave us the vision to prepare a respite for those wounded in the church, I thought I had enough empathy at the time to understand. It seems laughable now. I cannot tell you how many times I have wept with God over heinous things those who claimed to be serving Him did in His Name. Over the course of the last few months, I was reminded time and time again that people who work in ministry desperately need to be reminded that God in heaven loves them. I begged God to let me help Him remind them. We all need to be reminded that no matter how others treat us, we are tenderly loved by our Father. I am thankful that God enabled me to be obedient in the face of horrible oppression. He freed me and I want to lead others to that healing and freedom. It is okay to walk away when He tells you to no matter how hard it is. I came across a quote the other day that made me tear up. It is painful after years of not being loved to be reminded over and over that God deeply enjoys us. He does. How He loves us, beloved.

"One of the most fundamental realities in the Spirit is that our Bridegroom King so desires, pursues and enjoys us as His Bride. When the human heart is assured through the revelation of the Spirit that we are deeply enjoyed, then something powerful is awakened within us. This is truly the beginning of our experience of the Divine romance."
-Mike Bickle, "The Bridal Paradigm

"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me." 
Psalm 66:16



Emily said…
You ARE deeply enjoyed and loved. I give thanks for your freedom as well. God's glory shines in the testimony He has given you and your family.
Shelly9633 said… hurts even more when the oppression, legalism, judgement happens to someone you love, rather than yourself. I often say I can handle the arrows people in church hurl at me, but when they happen to someone in my family, I truly want to walk away. Lately, I've been feeling that is what God is telling me to do, but I haven't had the courage yet to follow through, because I keep questioning if that is what He is really telling me.

You are working in an awesome ministry. Beth Moore once said that we should rejoice in each trial we have gone through, because without them, we would have no way to use that for God's glory. You should rejoice that you were oppressed, because now you can use that experience to glorify God, just as your are already doing.
Darlene said…
ugh. I am so sad that I was blind to your suffering. I had no idea. I try to stay away from the politics and petty things that seem to consume many. Not that I am perfect at doing that, but putting up chairs lets me enjoy company and not get too worked up about this and that and the other.

I really believe that God wastes nothing in our lives once He has redeemed them. So the pain and the separation have a purpose. Maybe it was getting to comfy for everyone where you were. Maybe it was too easy to stay. I know that it took a lot for me to leave the RCC when it was time. And my leaving had a purpose. Hugs dear Sister of the Lord. Keep watching your Shepherd's feet, and you will be comforted when you mourn.
Unknown said…
I enjoy you. Thank you for sharing your heart for God's people in all circumstances. I have a respite for you here. Just let me know the dates. ;-)
Also, Kim Walker is extremely annointed! I had a friend here share this video with me during our women's bible study a few weeks ago and all of us were just moved by His Spirit among us.
Warren Baldwin said…
I left a comment on the fb note. Hope you are doing ok!

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