This blog is updated each Tuesday.
Writers write. That's the theory. It's proved to be true as far as I know. When I don't write I feel a part of me withers. There is something about words on paper (or screen). I set this deadline of writing each Tuesday to make sure that I cultivate this passion. It's midnight and I wish I could hang up a sign on my blog that says, "No blog today. Catch you next week." It's staring me down and I know I must write.
Last week I was driving along to a Bible study and something happened to me. I wish I could explain it. It was a physical and spiritual feeling simultaneously. I felt as if I had broken a high fever and been transported to another world all at the same time. I was trying to explain it to my husband and the best thing I could come up with is to liken it to spiritual Super Mario Brothers.
It was as if I had made it to another level of a game. As you look around on the level everything around appears the same, but the stakes are higher. Your adversary is quicker. The prize is bigger and you have more power.
Well, it's day five and I want to go back to level two. I have wanted to quit ministry, speaking, teaching about 10 times each day. I have also wanted to sell everything to do whatever God wants. This emotional roller coaster makes me tired. When do we get to take a break? Where are the angels that are supposed to come and minister in this desert? Where are all the people encouraging me to fight the good fight? They are not coming. God is. He is jealous to be the lifter of my head and will not let anyone else do this.
Several years ago God told me that I was going to be a conference speaker. At first I thought, "how exciting!" I realized that God did not have in mind what I did. I thought I would tell cute stories and the people would love me. That very well could have happened, but it did not. God has taken me down roads that are so unbelievably hard I cannot muster the strength to talk about the intensity of them most of the time. I can however tell you how He relentlessly delivers me to the next place to tell someone else. He opens the door to more people to encourage to do more things and He casts vision. Every time we have an event, I want to throw in the towel by the end of the night. I always end up on my face telling God the lie the enemy told me and that He has to carry me on.
The enemy is a liar. God is truth. Whatever God has told you to do, write it down. Write out whatever God says you are or that you will do. Every time the enemy seeks to lie to you, get that out and tell him to take it up with God because this is what He says about you.
You are a conference speaker.
I don't care if you are introverted.
You are an exhorter.
I don't care if you are debilitatingly shy.
You are a leader.
I don't care who is trying to make you follow them.
You are called. You are significant. You are relevant.
You are purposed.
You are the real thing. Press on.
Ezekiel 36
A Prophecy to the Mountains of Israel 1 "Son of man, prophesy to the mountains of Israel and say, 'O mountains of Israel, hear the word of the LORD. 2 This is what the Sovereign LORD says: The enemy said of you, "Aha! The ancient heights have become our possession." ' 3 Therefore prophesy and say, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Because they ravaged and hounded you from every side so that you became the possession of the rest of the nations and the object of people's malicious talk and slander, 4 therefore, O mountains of Israel, hear the word of the Sovereign LORD : This is what the Sovereign LORD says to the mountains and hills, to the ravines and valleys, to the desolate ruins and the deserted towns that have been plundered and ridiculed by the rest of the nations around you- 5 this is what the Sovereign LORD says: In my burning zeal I have spoken against the rest of the nations, and against all Edom, for with glee and with malice in their hearts they made my land their own possession so that they might plunder its pastureland.' 6 Therefore prophesy concerning the land of Israel and say to the mountains and hills, to the ravines and valleys: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I speak in my jealous wrath because you have suffered the scorn of the nations. 7 Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I swear with uplifted hand that the nations around you will also suffer scorn.
8 " 'But you, O mountains of Israel, will produce branches and fruit for my people Israel, for they will soon come home. 9 I am concerned for you and will look on you with favor; you will be plowed and sown, 10 and I will multiply the number of people upon you, even the whole house of Israel. The towns will be inhabited and the ruins rebuilt. 11 I will increase the number of men and animals upon you, and they will be fruitful and become numerous. I will settle people on you as in the past and will make you prosper more than before. Then you will know that I am the LORD. 12 I will cause people, my people Israel, to walk upon you. They will possess you, and you will be their inheritance; you will never again deprive them of their children.
13 " 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Because people say to you, "You devour men and deprive your nation of its children," 14 therefore you will no longer devour men or make your nation childless, declares the Sovereign LORD. 15 No longer will I make you hear the taunts of the nations, and no longer will you suffer the scorn of the peoples or cause your nation to fall, declares the Sovereign LORD.' "
16 Again the word of the LORD came to me: 17 "Son of man, when the people of Israel were living in their own land, they defiled it by their conduct and their actions. Their conduct was like a woman's monthly uncleanness in my sight. 18 So I poured out my wrath on them because they had shed blood in the land and because they had defiled it with their idols. 19 I dispersed them among the nations, and they were scattered through the countries; I judged them according to their conduct and their actions. 20 And wherever they went among the nations they profaned my holy name, for it was said of them, 'These are the LORD's people, and yet they had to leave his land.' 21 I had concern for my holy name, which the house of Israel profaned among the nations where they had gone.
22 "Therefore say to the house of Israel, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am going to do these things, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. 23 I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Sovereign LORD, when I show myself holy through you before their eyes.
24 " 'For I will take you out of the nations; I will gather you from all the countries and bring you back into your own land. 25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. 28 You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God. 29 I will save you from all your uncleanness. I will call for the grain and make it plentiful and will not bring famine upon you. 30 I will increase the fruit of the trees and the crops of the field, so that you will no longer suffer disgrace among the nations because of famine.
I don't know if it is obsessive compulsive of me, but I wrote out Song of Songs 2:10 about 10 times in my journal. It reads,.JPG)
"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 
