I am sitting in my mom's house. A mile away there is a church. The former pastor was convicted of murdering his wife yesterday. He looked like everybody else. He looked like a normal guy, a pastor. As I sat watching the news last night, I was sad for the church. I was sad for his children and his family. I was dialoguing with the Lord in my head as I listened to this news story.
He had been sexually harassing women for years. Countless accounts were given. He was having an affair with a woman who he convinced to get counseling with him as she was going through a horrible divorce and then he manipulated her into a relationship with him. He later told her that he killed his wife. He told her that
he couldn't divorce his wife because it would kill his career . . . a minister." So he killed her.
Really, God? I sat there wishing I could apologize to the world for this man's example. I wish I could show the real face of Christ in their minds. I wondered if he really loved Jesus. Can you love Jesus and do this kind of heinous act? Can you pastor a church and be under the influence of the demonic? Why didn't any of his church members notice? Did they all lack discernment? Was he a sociopath? God?
Pray for him. If he isn't saved, I pray he finds the real Jesus in prison. Oh God, wake the church up. Let people see the sociopaths and the demonic for what they are. Let them know that this isn't who you are. Heal the broken and the weary. Be a father to this man's fatherless children. I am grieving with you. This is no representation of who God is or what he has called his shepherding pastors to be. Church is not a career. Matt Baker, may you find grace. May God lead you to healing repentance.