"All smoke, no fire."
Do you ever ask yourself if your current situation is what God has intended for you? I would almost always say that this is not what God has for you. It isn't because of our spouse, children, parent, friend. It is because we have not taken hold of what God has already laid out for us to equip ourselves with. We desperately try to do everything in the power of our flesh. The problem, we need "mas fuego." More fire! We cannot manipulate or contrive this fire by any human means. It is a result of asking and asking again to be able to receive.
In Romans chapter 15 Paul asks for prayer for protection from the unbelievers and acceptance from the believers. John Piper explains that this means that, "By prayer, the wills of unbelievers can be restrained from murder, and the wills of believers can be constrained to receive his gift."
Our wills must be subdued to receive.
That is accomplished by prayer.
We must wrestle against self and rest in Him. Wrestling and resting—both of them define the Christian life in this fallen world because here we will always have to wrestle against what destroys our rest.
Ask to receive and take hold of what God does have for you.
Matthew 7:7 (Amplified Bible)
Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you